In the light of this vast, informal experiment, it seems clear that the widely held view of clinicians that pornography, specifically online pornography, is harmless should be reconsidered as a matter of urgency. We can’t be sure that the thousands of people describing their recovery from excessive porn use are mistaken.
A forthcoming series of studies by Cambridge University addiction neuroscience experts isolated “actual internet porn addicts and examined their brains.[93] The first of the series has been published, and the lead researcher said: There are clear differences in brain activity between patients who have compulsive sexualbehaviour and healthy volunteers. These differences mirror those of drug addicts’[94]
… I
think [ours is] a study that can help people understand that this is a real pathology, this is a
real disorder, so people will not dismiss compulsive sexual behaviour as somethingmoralistic. ... This is not different from how pathologic gambling and substance addiction
were viewed several years ago. [95]
Worse yet, there's a widespread meme online that internet porn is enabling users to ‘discovertheir sexuality’. Some bold young explorers industriously seek out the hottest material they canfind in the belief that it reveals who they are sexually. They don't realize that a boner isn't the only measure of a person's fundamental sexual proclivities. For example, the addiction process itself can drive escalation to more extreme material, while making porn that used to seem hot appear confusingly unexciting. Also, anxiety-producingmaterial pumps up sexual arousal. [24] As one researcher explained, a quickening pulse, dilating pupils and clammy skin – the body's reaction to adrenaline – can be mistaken for sexual attraction. ‘We misinterpret our arousal. It is an error of presumption’.[25] A review of existing research confirms that sexual interests are conditionable (changeable), [26] and different from fundamental sexual orientation. [27]
But desensitisation can also take the form of escalating to new genres, sometimes harder and stranger, or even disturbing. Remember: shock, surprise and anxiety can jack up dopamine.
``` Relationships, too, are affected by porn use, which makes sense. Too much stimulation can “interfere with what scientists call pair-bonding, or falling in love. When scientists jacked up pair-bonding animals on amphetamine, the naturally monogamous animals no longer formed a preference for one partner. [30] The artificial stimulation hijacks their bonding machinery, leaving them just like regular (promiscuous) mammals – in which the brain circuits for lastingbonds are absent.
Research in humans also suggests that too much “stimulation weakens pair bonds. Accordingto a 2007 study, mere exposure to numerous sexy female images causes a man to devalue his real-life partner.[31] He rates her lower not only on attractiveness, but also on warmth and intelligence. Also, after pornography consumption, subjects of both sexes report less satisfaction with their intimate partner – including the partner's affection, appearance, sexual curiosity and performance.[32] And both men and women assign increased importance to sex “without emotional involvement. (Day 125) I am in a long-term relationship, and I can vouch for the fact that quitting helped our sex life. A lot. I had no ED or PE or any other kind of sex-related problems, but compared to what we have now, our sex life while I was fapping was .... dull . Now it is anything but dull, and both of us have stronger libidos than before. I am not exactly sure how – or if – my quitting affected her libido, but she sure is much more interested in sex now :).” ```
From hundreds and thousands of people who went through the journey of quitting. Read the book. Your ED will be gone, you will naturally last a long time during sex if you avoid porn and masturbation and it makes your life more fulfilling and appreciative.
``` I'm not your generic self-diagnosed socially awkward penguin. I've been to a psychiatrist, diagnosed with moderate to severe social-anxiety and was put on medication. I know about the adrenaline rush you get when a stranger gets near you, the almost heart attack you feelwhen you try to talk during a class or a meeting (as if you “ever do), the long lonely walks you take not to deal with strangers, the unfounded shame when you look another person in the eye, the huge wall you put between strangers. Sweating, trembling, panic attacks, self hate, suicidal impulses, I've been through it all. I've been attempting quitting for two years now and this is the longest I've abstained. I no longer experience the ‘torture’ I described above.
And there's a cure No I'm not a new person, not a social butterfly. I'm still myself but I'm free of the shackles we call social phobia. In this past two years I've made more connections, hit on more women, made more friends than I did in my first 25 years. I feel content and comfortable in my ownskin, and the wall I put between myself and other people has crumbled ```
Those who reboot commonly report that they have ‘better concentration’, ‘no more brain fog’, ‘clearer thinking’ and ‘improved memory’. Addiction neuroscientists have repeatedly shown that internet addiction produces memory, concentration and impulse-control problems insome users, as well as corresponding brain changes. [35] For example, researchers found that the severity of ADHD symptoms “correlates with the severity of internet addiction, even when theytake into account anxiety, depression and personality traits.[36] And, as we'll see later, German researchers recently confirmed that moderate porn use, even by non-addicts, correlates with shrunken grey matter in regions of the brain associated with cognitive function. [37] When I was [using internet porn] I had brain fog or a constant hung-over-like feeling,
which made it hard for me to concentrate, talk to people or just do my everyday tasks. After 7-10 days without porn this feeling went away. My mind became very clear, thoughts easily
controllable, and I became much more relaxed in general.